Dear Sarah Palin

As we lead up to the all important election, I'm choosing to post a semi-regular column entitled, "Dear Sarah" So that we can all benefit from the sage advice of our possible, future VP.

Dear Sarah,

I was at a dinner party when the hostess, who was drunk, suddenly launched into an off key (and off color) version of "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini". The problem is, my former wife was killed by a shark and all that washed up on the shore was the exact thing that the hostess was singing. I chose not to say anything, but as a result, the fondue was more of a "fon-don't" if you know what I mean. What should I do next time?

Bikini waxing nostalgia

Dear BWN,

I hear ya, champ. Back in my hometown of Wasilla, we have a saying: "Drill, Kill, then take a pill." What does that have to do with yer problem? Not a whole heckofa lot! Ya see, we gotta spread demcracy in the world and that's not just limited to our neighbors that we can see from our front porch, ya know. I'd say that bein tolerant of your friend's choice ta drink and sing is important. I have lotsa friends who drink and sing and if that's their choice then I'm not one to judge. Not out loud, anyway, if ya know what I mean and I'm sher ya do. Like that time when Todd and his buddy went fer their monthly snowmachine racing trip and I tied a note onto the handle and when it came back the note was still there and the tank was still full of the colored gas that I tinted before they left. I'm not one to judge, by golly, but I sher woulda felt better if that tank had been empty dontcha know. So, BWN, buck up and go shoot a wolf next time. Believe me, killin things makes life a lot easier sometimes!

Obliviously yours,
Sarah

I'm Back!

Okay, so this summer has been one of learning, (light) travel and trying to catch up on projects that can't possibly be caught up on (I know, totally ending that with a preposition).

It's been a good summer, but I am glad to be back at school. I did meet my goal of completing the first draft of my novel. I'm now mired in revisions and hope to have something to send to my reader in the next few weeks. Then, with any luck, I'll be able to have a "final" product to shop around by November.

We did a wine tour in Willamette (awesome), I returned to Missouri for the annual Pennytown reuion (one of the best weekends ever) and, just last weekend, went to Portland to see Antony and the Johnsons in concert, with the Portland Symphony. Amazing; one of the greatest live performances I've ever seen.

I would get into political talk, but frankly, I'm worn out. Speaking of being frank, though, I saw that Al Franken won his primary in Minnesota. Hooray! I had the great fortune of (kind of) meeting him when I was in Minneapolis this past June. He and I were both interviewed on the Twin Cities Public TV program "Alamanac" and we exchanged pleasantries and I handed him his notes when he left the interview desk without them. That was the extent of it. I wish he'd stuck around to hear about my book (which you can learn more about by going to http://www.thelyncherinme.com/ ) But I was impressed with his demeanor and his ability to tackle not-so-soft questions from the interviewers. I can't wait to see Sarah Palin do the same, if it ever happens. Oh, did I get political by mentioning Caribou Barbie? Well, slap my face.