My First Book Talk!

Last night, a friend and I attended an author presentation by Rebecca Walker, author of the new memoir "Baby Love." Rebecca is the daughter of "The Color Purple"'s Alice Walker and civil rights attorney Mel Leventhal. I've heard Rebecca speak before and she never fails to be entertaining and, most important, thought-provoking. In her first memoir, "Black, White and Jewish", she writes frankly about her parents' shortcomings in raising her and the resulting clash of identities she felt over a myriad of issues--race being just one. What I love most about her is her refreshing candor and unflinching determination to be true to herself. She understands that, as a writer, the person's first responsibility is to be honest, embracing the difficulties in one's life as well as the positives. Secondary is the way in which the peripheral characters might take how they're being portrayed in writing. This isn't to say she's ruthless in her illustrations of her family members--she's no Christina Crawford. She tries to wash over her memories with a layer of understanding and guarded sympathy. I think we can all learn from this. For my own family, I refuse to let those who have hurt me off the hook, simply because "it was a long time ago" or "it's the best I can do." My love is unconditional, but my time and energy isn't--nor is a relationship with my children, who don't have the same power to say "no" or see through the dysfunction that I have. I'll give the gift of context and understanding for the shortcomings of those who have dodged in and out of my life over the years, but I don't have to let it continue just because "they're blood."