A New Blog!

Due to the raging success of my previous entry, "Dear Sarah Palin", I've decided to create a new one, dedicated solely to the column. You can find it at http://helpmesarah.blogspot.com/

Submitted dilemmas are welcome...

Today I did a lesson (non-indoctrination, of course) on the electoral system and I brought the website www.pollster.com up on the screen to show an example of polling, coupled with electoral counting. 24 4th graders broke into cheers when they saw 320 to 163. I played the middle, naturally, explaining how things can change on a dime and that no matter what, the results would be historical: The first African American president or the oldest. No comment on which is the more monumental or positive.

Dear Sarah Palin

As we lead up to the all important election, I'm choosing to post a semi-regular column entitled, "Dear Sarah" So that we can all benefit from the sage advice of our possible, future VP.

Dear Sarah,

I was at a dinner party when the hostess, who was drunk, suddenly launched into an off key (and off color) version of "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini". The problem is, my former wife was killed by a shark and all that washed up on the shore was the exact thing that the hostess was singing. I chose not to say anything, but as a result, the fondue was more of a "fon-don't" if you know what I mean. What should I do next time?

Bikini waxing nostalgia

Dear BWN,

I hear ya, champ. Back in my hometown of Wasilla, we have a saying: "Drill, Kill, then take a pill." What does that have to do with yer problem? Not a whole heckofa lot! Ya see, we gotta spread demcracy in the world and that's not just limited to our neighbors that we can see from our front porch, ya know. I'd say that bein tolerant of your friend's choice ta drink and sing is important. I have lotsa friends who drink and sing and if that's their choice then I'm not one to judge. Not out loud, anyway, if ya know what I mean and I'm sher ya do. Like that time when Todd and his buddy went fer their monthly snowmachine racing trip and I tied a note onto the handle and when it came back the note was still there and the tank was still full of the colored gas that I tinted before they left. I'm not one to judge, by golly, but I sher woulda felt better if that tank had been empty dontcha know. So, BWN, buck up and go shoot a wolf next time. Believe me, killin things makes life a lot easier sometimes!

Obliviously yours,
Sarah

Cloris--gotta love her!

So I found myself doing the "guilty pleasure" thing last night--watching "Dancing with the Stars." I had initially just wanted to see Cloris Leachman, but I have to admit that I got a kick out of a few of the others (though three or four were just painful to watch--like dealing with your drunk uncle who tries to cut in on the bride during the couple's dance). Still, Cloris was awesome. Who can't be enamoured of her? Nurse Deisel, Frau Blucher (sp?), Phyllis. She's a total riot and just watching her seeming to have the time of her life and being her acidic self was awesome. I hope she sticks around for a long time (on the show, and in life).

We're in full force at school and it's painfully obvious that we're in the thick of fall, too. Rain all weekend, chilly mornings, gray skies. I rather like it, but there is that whole "rebuild the woodrack and start splitting firewood" thing. I have nothing more to say this morning, but close with a quick Haiku:

Irish cream cocoa

smooth jazz on KPLU

Ease into the day

I'm Back!

Okay, so this summer has been one of learning, (light) travel and trying to catch up on projects that can't possibly be caught up on (I know, totally ending that with a preposition).

It's been a good summer, but I am glad to be back at school. I did meet my goal of completing the first draft of my novel. I'm now mired in revisions and hope to have something to send to my reader in the next few weeks. Then, with any luck, I'll be able to have a "final" product to shop around by November.

We did a wine tour in Willamette (awesome), I returned to Missouri for the annual Pennytown reuion (one of the best weekends ever) and, just last weekend, went to Portland to see Antony and the Johnsons in concert, with the Portland Symphony. Amazing; one of the greatest live performances I've ever seen.

I would get into political talk, but frankly, I'm worn out. Speaking of being frank, though, I saw that Al Franken won his primary in Minnesota. Hooray! I had the great fortune of (kind of) meeting him when I was in Minneapolis this past June. He and I were both interviewed on the Twin Cities Public TV program "Alamanac" and we exchanged pleasantries and I handed him his notes when he left the interview desk without them. That was the extent of it. I wish he'd stuck around to hear about my book (which you can learn more about by going to http://www.thelyncherinme.com/ ) But I was impressed with his demeanor and his ability to tackle not-so-soft questions from the interviewers. I can't wait to see Sarah Palin do the same, if it ever happens. Oh, did I get political by mentioning Caribou Barbie? Well, slap my face.

What a Freakin' Week...

It's been one of those weeks (or two) for me. You know, those ones where if things are going to go wrong, they do. I tend to get leery when things go too well for too long; I imagine that the bottom will soon fall out from under me and the house of cards will collapse (a mix of metaphors, I know).

The trials of being a landlord were in high form this month. A leaky toilet and a broken drier. I went to fix both, was unable to do the drier (is it spelled "dryer"?) and was only able to do a half-assed job on the toilet (that figure of speech is quite accurate since, when I replaced the toilet, the new seat was too small and the toilet wobbled). And then, I was to discover a major drain leak emptying all the contents of the washing machine into the basement. To add to all of this, I had just been diagnosed the day before with bursitis in my left shoulder, this "out of the blue" swollen tendon that made even buttoning my pants hell.

And that brings me to the whole "bursitis" thing. With all do respect to people who actually suffer from these things (and are older than I am), but this is the first condition that my brain, which is frequently obsessing about age lately, has attached the label of "old person's diseasae." I'm expecting bunions, gout and osteoporosis next. Bursitis?? All I know is it hurts somethin' fierce and I didn't do anything that I know of to bring it about. I know, get out the tiny violins...

So anyway, I'm repairing (or not) the items in our duplex and, of course, everything that requires an ounce of muscle is on the left side, so I'm pretty much useless. Time to call in the professionals and open the valve on my bank account. And then, in the same week, our hot tub breaks down (I hesitate to even say that since I never dreamed I'd even be able to have a hot tub, much less a really nice bathtub) and our propane tank runs dry. With fuel prices through the roof, it cost us 20% more to fill the thing up.

I'm jonesing for a better August. My next posting, when I get to it, will be must less ranting and more wise musings, I promise.

Here I Am!

I'm in week two of the Puget Sound Writer's Project, an intense 4 week (with a half dozen Saturdays over the coming school year) of writing, reflecting, learning, sharing, etc. with about 20 other participants. We're all teachers, and we're all writers. It's been great. I've been riding my bike to and from the UW (from the ferry dock--about a 45 minute ride through the city) and it's been wonderful to have a good sweat twice a day that doesn't involve sitting in an overheated car in the middle of traffic. The class runs from 8:30 to 3:30 each day and, even though I'm not lifting bags of cement or scraping paint from the side of a house, I come home exhausted each day. But I love it. The enviroment of the university, academia, shirtless hackysack players...I mean...academia. Yeah, that's it.
:)

I'm glad to have a quick moment to update this blog because I've not had time at a computer, really. This weekend was a productive one for my current novel. I was able to crank out upwards of 30 pages and they're not completely horrible, so that's good. My goal is to have a draft ready for revision by the end of this summer and I think I may make it. Fingers crossed (and typing).

I dreamed the other night that I was lost in Italy, and I wasn't even afraid. In fact, the only thing that stressed me about it was that I was worried I wouldn't catch my plane home and I didn't have a sub to start the first day of school.

Jump In, Jump Out

So, I've been chastised by a couple folks for not having updated my blog in some time. Guilty. I think the end of the school year, transitions, laziness are all the culprits. So, in spite of the fact that I have much to tell, I'll give a brief rundown of highlights and (hopefully) expand on them later.

Al Franken. Yes, Al Franken. On my first night in Minneapolis (for my second mini-book tour), I gave an interview on the program "Almanac" for Twin Cities Public Television and had the great fortune to watch (and follow) Al Franken, who is running (and really, should win) for the U.S. Senate seat representing Minnesota. He was articulate, smart, gracious and even funny (he is a funny guy, for crying out loud--something that for some reason people want to hold against him).

Meeting a descendant of one of the mob participants. At one book signing, I had the honor of meeting a man who came to point out his father in the photo of the lynchings. It was a first for me, and a moment that I savored. We had a wonderful conversation and I could see that my book had a great impact on him. If nothing else, his words will carry me through the rest of this whole author thing. What I'd hoped I'd be able to do with the book, I can see I've managed to do. Very cool.

More later...